Quentin Hafner, LMFT

I’ve made plenty of mistakes as a husband, God knows and my wife can certainly testify. I guess that’s partly why I can help people in their relationships is because I’m pretty clear at seeing all my mistakes, and I have no delusions of getting it perfect. Speaking of not getting it perfect, I wanted to share a quick story with you of one of my many failings and how I overcame it. A while back, I used to be the kind of husband that was critical of my wife for not “doing her part”. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I used to shame her and criticize her for not being a good wife. Ugh….I’ve had better moments. I would complain that she wasn’t attentive enough. I would tell her she expected too much of me. And I, like so many guys, would play the victim when we weren’t intimate enough. Have you ever been there? Or is it just me? This was all around the time we had our first son… She, can you believe her audacity…..devoted most of her resources to caring for an infant, and I felt sidelined. I...

MODERN COUPLES THERAPY. HEALTHY CONNECTIONS. SUSTAINABLE RESULTS. As a marriage counselor and couples therapist practicing in Orange County, CA, I take pride in working tirelessly until partners in relationships feel massively more content, have greater levels of peace, and generally feel much more satisfied to be together than ever before. Through counseling, we achieve this by helping couples understand the very subtle but extremely important, and often overlooked, nuances in relationships that contribute to feeling frustrated, lonely, or sometimes, downright ready to leave the relationship. More than ever before, couples need a roadmap to navigate their relationships in our modern age. So much has changed regarding relationships, yet so much of the advice we receive from well meaning people, including many other marriage counselors, is too simple and outdated. From navigating shifting gender roles, to changing spousal expectations, to how we share parenting responsibilities, many co...

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Quentin was interviewed on The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast with Kate Anthony and we had a great discussion about relationship struggles and the ultimate relationship question: Should I Stay or Should I Go. Quentin breaks down the three biggest reasons why marriages often fail. In addition we also cover: My 6 non-negotiables in a relationship and what they should  really  mean for you. How we’re approaching men about going to therapy all wrong and how to better invite them into the process. My view of the 3 most common reasons people leave marriages—and if they’re actually good enough reasons to leave. My view of the 3 most common reasons people leave marriages and—if they’re actually good enough reason to leave. Why the fact that 68% of second marriages fail and 73% of third marriages fail really matters to the choice ahead of you right now. Why 69% of marriages are ended by women,  and  what men can do to not be a casualty of that. W...

HELPING SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ACHIEVE GREATER FULFILLMENT WITH IMPROVED RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEMSELVES AND OTHERS SO THEY LEAVE THE LEGACIES THEY TRULY DESIRE. As a licensed therapist, I take pride in guiding men and women to feel massively more content, create greater levels of peace, and generally feel much more satisfied about their lives than ever before. Achieving greater levels of personal fulfillment comes through taking a closer look at the very subtle, but extremely important, and often overlooked, nuances in emotional and relational health that are at the root-cause of feeling frustrated, disconnected, or sometimes, downright feeling hopeless. Whether we’re dedicated to working individually on our personal growth, or in the context of  couples therapy & marriage counseling ,  more than ever before, people need a trusted partner with emotional and relational expertise to navigate the shifting paradigms in our modern age. So much has changed regarding what is expected o...

Teams come in all shapes and sizes. It might be the personal team of your family, or your management team at the office; the principles are always the same. This blog is a quick look, backed by research, of the most important relational elements that make great teams, whether inside of an organization or at home. The great part about all of these elements is that they are all easily implementable, no matter the current status of your team! Wherever you’re at, I hope you can apply these 5 ideas to the key relationships in your own life. 1. GREAT TEAMS HAVE BUY-IN AROUND A SHARED MISSION & VISION. Great teams have a shared mission/vision that their people can get behind. Before your team can ever become a real team, the team members have to have something that drives them to be a great team. Something bigger and more existential that will motivate them to pursue greatness. The teams vision sets the team on a shared path with a shared direction. It’s the teams North Star, and without ...

Check out this quick video where I talk about the 5 things any of us can do to promote more trust in our relationships. Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, and without it enough of it, we’ll always be limited in how much life-giving goodness comes from people we surround ourselves with. I talk about trust in a business relationship in this video, but it’s just as applicable in any personal relationship. However, if you feel like partnering together would be a good fit in meeting your needs, and you’d like to start a conversation about how we could work together, please  click here .

In today’s episode, we’re having a conversation with a special friend of mine, John Davidson. John is a psychotherapist and happiness coach in the UK, and the owner of Happiness Hacks, an international training program to help people increase their level of happiness. John and I know a lot about happiness because we both spend nearly all of our waking hours helping people become happier  through therapy and coaching .  Me in Newport Beach, and John in the UK. And we cover some really important ideas in this show that just might help you get happier today! We talk about: What are some unique challenges or obstacles to happiness and fulfillment to those that are busy professionals? Is there a difference between happiness and fulfillment? There’s so much in the world that promises to make us happy. More money, new jobs, new relationships, material possessions, etc. Why don’t these things ever really make us any happier? What are the secrets that happy people know about happiness,...